Blue Origin's Flight For Women and the Quest For The Perfect Spacesuit
The world watched in fascination as Blue Origin launched the first all-female space flight crew since Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova's solo spaceflight in 1963. The world watched in amazement as these brave women hurtled into space in their sleek blue Spandex spacesuits. But if you thought those suits looked familiar, you would be right. Their design harkens back to another epic space voyage. To facilitate their quest for the perfect spacesuit Blue Origin called upon the master of spacesuit design – Albert Wolsky.
While you may not recognize Mr. Wolsky’s name, you probably know his work. His work spans several decades and has won many awards. He has been nominated five times for Academy Awards, three times for ASFFHF awards, as well as countless other societal awards. But most notably, one of Mr. Wolsky’s Academy nominations was for Best Costume in the movie Galaxy Quest. Anyone familiar with the movie will recognize the stunning achievement embodied on the space suit worn by Sigourney Weaver, and the striking similarity between the Blue Origin and Galaxy Quest spacesuits.
Not only do they demonstrate the tight-fitting-but-comfortable stretchiness required of a good spacesuit, but they also featured Mr. Wolsky’s crowning patented achievement – the auto-descending zipper. Fans of Galaxy Quest will recognize this amazing feature. At the beginning of the movie, Ms. Weaver’s zipper was conservatively zipped up to her neck, but as the movie progressed, the zipper miraculously, and dare I say tantalizingly, descended toward her navel. This obviously allowed for more freedom of her assets as the crew faced death and impossible odds during their harrowing space adventure. As with Galaxy Quest, the Blue Origin crew began with zippers firmly seated at the neck of their spacesuits, but during the eleven-minute Blue Origin flight the auto-descending zippers performed flawlessly, as can be seen in the post-flight photos.
Newly minted astronaut Katy Perry stated that this flight into space firmly established women as being capable of anything. According to Ms. Perry:
“Being an accomplished woman is no longer about math and science, but more about makeup, fake lashes and hair extensions. Albert’s awesome blue spacesuits accentuate the fact that we’re women. No one could argue with that. While we were in space, we accomplished important tasks like group hugs, singing “What a Wonderful World”, showing daisies and generally glamming the camera. We proved that as women, we’re not afraid of anything - even a giant, pulsing shaft with a knoblike top. It was a great day for women in science.”
The other new astronauts mirrored Perry’s sentiments with equally poignant statements.
Former NASA administrator, Jim Bridenstine, stated that this was the direction he was trying to lead NASA before being unceremoniously replaced with a real pilot and astronaut. Recognizing the value of proper space attire which accentuates the astronaut, Virgin Galactic has called on several experts to help revamp the fashion portion of their space program before the debut of their new Delta spacecraft, most notably Dolly Parton and David Hasselhoff.
The whole concept of space travel has been radically altered by this epic and historical flight, making space seem closer than ever. It seems that in only eleven minutes, Blue Origin has proven that space is no longer the final frontier, but simply another suburban shopping mall.
Sheldon DeVaign
RRNN Science reporter - Since he was a small boy, this reporter excelled in things like model rockets and blowing school bathroom toilets off the walls. After prison, he took up journalism since there didn't seem to be many background checks done in the industry.