In light of recent nationwide events that have polarized the country, millions of Americans have flooded Facebook with persuasive posts to convince their Facebook friends that their position is correct. RRNN recently conducted a survey to find out just how effective these posts really are. The unexpected result was that one person has changed his mind because of Facebook posts. RRNN’s Chandelle Steele interviewed Mr. David Rothskeller on the reasons for this remarkable change.

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RRNN: Good afternoon, David - may I call you David?

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David: Of course.

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RRNN: So, you changed your mind after reading Facebook posts, is that correct?

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David: Absolutely. Jenny here showed me some really persuasive posts with really accurate information.

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Jenny: Hi, I’m Jenny, David’s girlfriend. I showed him those posts.

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RRNN: HI Jenny.

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David: Yes, she showed me posts by everyone famous. Tom Hanks, Morgan Freeman, Whoopi Goldberg. I mean, everyone agrees with Jenny’s version of the recent events. Even Taylor Swift agrees.

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RRNN: Here at RRNN, we had our researchers review the official websites of those celebrities. We didn’t find any posts about the recent events.

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David: Oh, they never post political opinions on their official sites.

Jenny: Only their fans read those. They really want the whole world to believe them, so they use surrogate posters.

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RRNN: Can you name some of those surrogate posters?

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David: One of the best is “WalmartSuperMama”. She’s really smart and posts mostly for the actors. I think she’s really good friends with Tom Hanks. Another is BigWeedDaddy. He mostly posts for the musicians, you know, like Taylor, Madonna, Gaga, Snoop Dog. You know.

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RRNN: So, you really did have a complete change heart, David?

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David: Oh yes. So compelling. We’re going to a protest tomorrow.

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Jenny: Yeah, like, it’s gonna’ be real fun.

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RRNN: Well David and Jenny, thanks for the interview. Well, it seems that maybe all those Facebook posts really can make a difference.

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RRNN update

The day after the interview above with David and Jenny went to print, we received a call from David. Here is a transcription of that call.

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RRNN: Real Real News Network, Chandelle Steele speaking.

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David: Hi Chandelle. It’s David. I just felt like I should call you. Jenny and I went to the protest today. That chick is crazy! I think we broke up. I don’t know. I said something wrong and she started hitting me with a sign. I ran away. I’m hiding behind a dumpster. I may have to get a new cell phone so she can’t find me. I don’t know. I’m pretty scared right now. So, about that survey. See, we were on our first date. She’s pretty hot, and she’d had a few drinks. We went back to her place. She started showing me these crazy Facebook posts. As she did, she started getting really excited, kinda’ sweating and panting, you know. The more I agreed with her and her WalmartSuperMama posts, the hornier she got. So I kept agreeing with her. I mean, what guy wouldn’t. She made me take the survey. By the time I finished it, she was all over me. So anyway. Now that she’s gone, I really haven’t changed my mind. I just wanted sex. Uh-oh. She found me . I gotta’ run. Hey! Ow! That sign hurts. Click.

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